Patience, my biggest enemy.

Okay so I am just gonna jump straight to the point and say it.. YES, I DO WANT KIDS!!! Im so sick and tired of everyone asking me "hey, when are you gonna have kids?!" Since April 30th, 2010 when my husband and I got married, we have been trying for kids. I know it has only been two years since we've been trying but it is extremely heartbreaking to have every month pass you by and you're still not pregnant. What makes it even harder for me is that, I am irregular... yes, i said it, i am irregular with monthly cycles and it makes it so much harder for me. So, the weeks or months in-between my cycles that I am waiting to start, I'm always hoping and praying that it will be MY TIME and this just might be it... but every month my heart gets broken. It is so hard for me to see some mothers treat their kids the way they do when all i want is children so i can love them and care for them with everything that i have.

PEOPLE are always telling me "just be patient and it will happen when its suppose to." and i appreciate that but it is so easy for other people to say that already have children. Excuse for sounding stubborn but it is exactly how i feel about the entire situation. I hear other things like "you're so young, go enjoy life" and yeah there are things i can do that would be a lot easier to do if i didn't have children but who says i can't do them WITH my children?!?!

I am a happily married woman who loves everything about my life. I do not regret anything and I do not feel like there is anything in life that i haven't already done that i wanted to do. All i pray for now is for children, to love, teach, comfort, and spoil. THank goodness though that i have gained a better understanding of the CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS and the plan that the LORD has in store for me. Patience has always been my biggest enemy and i guess through the years, i have been better acquainted with it. hahaha.

P.S.
to my future babies, i'll be crazy enough to sara you if needed.. lol.. but even crazier to forgive you and love you at your weakest..