Patience, my biggest enemy.

Okay so I am just gonna jump straight to the point and say it.. YES, I DO WANT KIDS!!! Im so sick and tired of everyone asking me "hey, when are you gonna have kids?!" Since April 30th, 2010 when my husband and I got married, we have been trying for kids. I know it has only been two years since we've been trying but it is extremely heartbreaking to have every month pass you by and you're still not pregnant. What makes it even harder for me is that, I am irregular... yes, i said it, i am irregular with monthly cycles and it makes it so much harder for me. So, the weeks or months in-between my cycles that I am waiting to start, I'm always hoping and praying that it will be MY TIME and this just might be it... but every month my heart gets broken. It is so hard for me to see some mothers treat their kids the way they do when all i want is children so i can love them and care for them with everything that i have.

PEOPLE are always telling me "just be patient and it will happen when its suppose to." and i appreciate that but it is so easy for other people to say that already have children. Excuse for sounding stubborn but it is exactly how i feel about the entire situation. I hear other things like "you're so young, go enjoy life" and yeah there are things i can do that would be a lot easier to do if i didn't have children but who says i can't do them WITH my children?!?!

I am a happily married woman who loves everything about my life. I do not regret anything and I do not feel like there is anything in life that i haven't already done that i wanted to do. All i pray for now is for children, to love, teach, comfort, and spoil. THank goodness though that i have gained a better understanding of the CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS and the plan that the LORD has in store for me. Patience has always been my biggest enemy and i guess through the years, i have been better acquainted with it. hahaha.

P.S.
to my future babies, i'll be crazy enough to sara you if needed.. lol.. but even crazier to forgive you and love you at your weakest..

My 2012, My Year!

I'll start off by saying happy LATE new year. I made it a goal to blog as often as I can. So, what better way to start off my new than to blog away?! Well, I don't want to look back into 2011 because it's the past and I am more excited for the future and what life has to offer. This is year is going to be big year for me and my husband because we have so many things going on and we have so many things we want to accomplish. The crazy thing is, because we want to do so many things, it's hard to decide where we want to start. *takes deep breath* So many decisions and so little time, to us at least. We're so anxious to get these going and we're off to a pretty good start if you ask me. Tuna is in the FIRE ACADEMY to become a fireman, and I am so happy for him. He is making a decision that will benefit him as a person, and us as a family. His hard work never goes unnoticed and I appreciate him so much. I on the other hand, will be working full time and saving up for our big huge move back to UTAH later on this year. We have some sort of direction of where our year is taking us so far but it's all the things in between that we're uncertain about. Everything in between is what we're really trying to figure out. Hopefully, by praying and attending the temple regularly will give us some guidance.

 Speaking of TEMPLE, look at this beautiful new temple that will be opened this summer in Kansas City, Missouri :) I am so excited because it is only 25minutes away from where we currently live. The only other temple here in Missouri is about 4hours away in St. Louis and it's a lot harder to get out there. I love the St. Louis temple though because we got sealed in there last year. A day I will never forget. I can't tell you how much I love going to the temple. There is this amazing spirit that you feel in there that you never want to lose. I am so excited and anxious to do more work inside. I plan on going everyday if possible, and if not everyday then I will go every weekend without a doubt. I remember growing up as a child and in primary there was this song called "I love to see the temple" and part of the lyrics it says "I'll go inside someday" and it's crazy because I can now say that, I went inside and it was the most beautiful experience ever. Something that I honestly want to keep experiencing for the rest of my life. So as the year 2012 is already in motion, there are a few things I'm uncertain about when it comes to making decisions, but there are things that are already set in stone of what needs to be accomplished and goals that I plan on fulfilling. Work, Save, Go to the Temple, and move back to Utah. I hope this year will be filled with blessings and joy and I pray that everyone else will enjoy their year as well. XOXOXOX :)

Everyone has a love story... this is mine!

A lot of people say "don't rush into it" and that oh so famous saying "only fools rush in" when it comes to falling in love. Yet, people are funny because they also say "hey, when you know, you know" and it goes on and on. No one can tell you when to fall in love or tell you how to love, so why let them tell you to slow down or anything else for that matter?!

You see that handsome fellow on the left? Yeah, together we challenged all the rules and conspiracies about love. To kind of sum things up, we dated for 2 months and then we got married! I know what you're thinking "WTF?!" right?! hahahaha, yeeeaaahhh like I said before we defined all odds about love. The thing is, no one knows you better than YOU and if your heart is making you feel something that you have never felt before, don't ever lose that feeling!!! In all honesty, I truly believe that "when you know, you know" and no one is going to change your mind, and don't let them. If all else fails and you feel like you hit rock bottom and you start asking yourself "did i make the right decision" and "should i give up" DON'T!!! Life and love are on in the same. Both are amazing but just because times get hard, you should never give up. It's suppose to be hard, it's suppose to help you learn and grow. If things are only getting harder, it's because the Lord is saying "I made you stronger" and he really did. Nothing is more beautiful than a lesson learned! You'll regret it more that you gave up, rather than sticking it out.

Now take a look at the BEAUTiFUL picture on the right  ------->>> yeah, that's me and my husband on our wedding day! Something I will never ever forget. It wasn't a huge wedding, it was small and simple (keep in mind we were only dating 2 months) but it was PERFECT in every single way. All that mattered to us was that we were marrying each other, and that's all we really needed. Oh, and some great food afterwards. hahahaha. We have been married a year and a half now and it has not been a walk in the park. We had our big and small arguments and we had our moments of doubt, but it never was a reason for giving up on our marriage. On of the best ways my husband could have ever proved to me that he sincerely loved me, was when he took me to the ST. LOUiS TEMPLE to be sealed for time and all eternity. I knew then that, this was meant to be! whether we dated for 2 months or 2 years, the Lord guided us to each other and now we're going to make this last, and it will last for eternity. Life and love are one in the same I tell you. You cannot have one without the other and the other without the one. Make every single day of your life count and love every single second of the day as if it were your last. Live and love everlasting. It's endless, and eternal.